I’ve cracked the #Brexit conundrum!

Dear Britain,

Please don't worry about your decision to leave the EU.  I have a solution that should relieve both remainers and leavers equally. A moment comes, which comes but rarely, when we step from the old to the new….I’ve cracked the #Brexit conundrum!


Cameron needs to immediately apply for Britain to become a Union Territory of the Republic of India.

Whilst historically speaking it seems only right and proper to give India a chance to rule Britain for a few hundred years - it actually makes a lot of sense for the British too!

Worried about jobs? India’s economy is growing 4x faster than Europe’s and will overtake the entire EU’s sometime in the 2030s - becoming twice the size of the EU economy by 2050.

In economic terms alone every young Brit should wish to replace their garish red EU passport with a classy blue Indian one ASAP.

Worried about the future of the NHS? India already provides nearly as many Doctors to the NHS as the EU does - and that doesn’t even include those of Indian origin, born or educated, in Britain. 25,055 Indian v 30,082 EU.

Worried about diversity? With over 100 different languages spoken everyday and adherents of every religion - even Britain’s favourite materialist consumption - there truly is something for everyone here!

Worried about being understood? English is one of India's two official languages - which will be a huge relief for all those have struggled to communicate with their continental neighbours for all these years.

Worried about not being part of something bigger? India has more than twice the population of the EU. Half of which are under 35, so the bonus is no more worries about an ageing population!

Worried about where to go on holiday? The Himalayas are nearly three times the height of the Alps and thousands of miles longer - there are more sandy beaches along India’s coastline than all the Costas you can dream of - and India has tropical rainforests and even a desert too! Plenty of visa free inter-railing adventures as well on the world’s largest railway network.

Worried about not being ruled by an unlected bureaucracy in a far away land? We’ve got that covered as well! Nowhere on the planet has perfected the shuffling of paper and writing of rules better than New Delhi - what’s more India’s civil servants salaries are more than 10x lower than Brussels. Talk about getting more for less!

British MPs, the whole of Whitehall and even the Royal Family (subject to the return of the Kohinor) can all be pensioned off at the fast expanding and internationally renowned Best Exotic Marigold Hotel chain in Jaipur.

Which would free up the Houses of Parliament, Buckingham Palace and much of Central London to become a permanent Bollywood film set. With more viewers than Hollywood this is sure to help keep London’s tourist economy going - which within a decade or two will be mostly Indians in any case.

Embrace the 21st Century. Swap Brussels for Delhi. Say Goodbye to Little Europe and Namaste to Incredible India!

Yours in waiting,
A 3rd Generation Immigrant of British Origin,
New Delhi, India🙏

#Brexit - A Genuine Clusterfuck! What will happen?

137 billion pounds was wiped off the value of the UK stockmarket in the first nine minutes of trading. That's the equivalent of nine years EU membership fees.

The falling value of the pound will cause the cost of imports to rise, making things more expensive on the high street.

The poorer parts of Britain have used the referendum as a vote on globalisation: they've been shafted by continuous British governments since 1979, governments who have off-shored their jobs, used immigration to lower their wages and deregulated banks to provide cheap credit to fund their consumption.

None of this will change outside of the EU.

The problem always was, is and will be that domestic UK politicians do not represent the interests of the traditional working class, they represent international finance. And under Johnson and Gove they still will.

The UK is an international CAPITALIST economy, it needs inward investment to pay for its current account deficit (debt), which is massive. 50% of our inward investment came from the EU in 2015. Low wages - yes even with George Osborne's supposed 'living wage' - help to attract this investment. Immigration is a structural part of the UK economy and this is not going to change any time soon. Even Farage said he would use migrants from the Commonwealth (lol - that basically ended in 1956 @Suez), rather than the EU.

Immigration will not stop, but our economy will probably take a huge battering:

The UK economy is 79% services, services are harder to trade than manufactured goods because of the fact that people are integral to services, you can't just ship them overseas like a bag of spanners. The UK had a free 'passport' to trade services in the EU.

The City of London (services) generates 10% of the UK's total GDP. Roughly a quarter of the UK’s financial sector business involves the EU's Single Market, equivalent to 2 per cent of gross domestic product. And balanced on top is a wider array of professional services. (Financial Times).

Plus: developed countries buy more services than developing countries who are at a different stage in their economic development. The EU is made up of some of the richest developed countries on the planet. The entire structural configuration of our economy favours services sold to developed countries and we just risked putting the kibosh on that. Smart move.

There's more.

Free trade agreements take years to negotiate, and the UK will be screaming out for FTAs to ensure trade based on best possible terms, rather than the default WTO position - yes that's right, even on leaving the EU there are other international organisations we have to conform to, we call this the modern world - Under WTO there are 10% import tariffs on automotive manufacturing, one of the last bastions of manufacturing in the UK. Without an FTA all UK automotive exports will see a 10% tariff slapped on them. Let that sink in for a moment. A UK crying out for FTAs will give negotiating partners leverage, the UK does not have the upperhand here.

And as for an EU-UK FTA, the UK is 5% of global GDP (2015), the EU 26%, who do you think will have the upperhand in those negotiations? As for us importing more from the EU than we export, we need those goods, for our standard of living and for our domestic supply chains. The fact that we import so much is not automatically something that works in our favour! Trade is not a zero sum game.

And when all these British citizens fund out that they've been lied to over the next few years they're going to be absolutely furious. And who do you think they will vote for then? Angry men with easy answers and tiny little moustaches maybe? I'm pretty sure it won't be Corbyn with his mystical magical 1970s timemachine.

This is a genuine clusterfuck. Cameron has risked the union of the Kingdom - Northern Ireland voted remain 56%, Scotland 62% - and the wider EU in trying to appease to racists, the angry and the ignorant. This is not the behaviour of a statesman. It is the behaviour of an opportunist and a coward. His name will go down in history as the man who accidentally broke up Britain.

Hold on to your bowler hats, its about to get bumpy.